Find your partner for
Often when people want a new relationship, they either look for someone to complete them or they imagine sharing their life with someone just like them. So they try to present themselves in the best possible light for their imagined future partner—either as one perfect half of a whole or as an ideal version of what they believe their future partner will want. In my experience, finding your soul mate requires a different, far more soul-enriching approach. Here are six steps that worked for me:. I decided to turn my attention inward—to get to know and accept myself , to heal past wounds, and to explore and develop new parts of myself.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Manifest Your Partner, Lover, improve your Relationship - Guided Meditation
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 14 Psychological Tricks to Get the Partner You WantContent:
- 6 Ways to Find The Right Partner
- Which Personality Type is Your Love Match?
- 11 Things You Should Contemplate Before Choosing a Life Partner
- 10 Tips for Choosing the Right Partner
- The 3 Most Important Truths To Finding A Partner For Life
- How to Find Your Partner and Grow Your Relationship
- Dating Tips for Finding the Right Person
- 8 ways to find the right partner for you
6 Ways to Find The Right Partner
Barton Goldsmith. What really jumped out at me was this line: "Picking the right person for the right reasons at the right time is an art form.
With the divorce rates as high as they are, it makes sense that it takes the right person, right time and right reasons to make a fulfilling and strong relationship. I love Dr. Goldsmith's tips, and as a nice complement, I wanted to write my own:.
Don't make choices out of fear: So many times people either choose a partner or stay with someone in an unhappy relationship predominantly out of some kind of fear. Usually that fear is being alone but fears can vary widely from person to person. It's often better to be alone and wait for the right person than to make a decision out of fear. Making decisions out of fear leads to confusion, anxiety and a general feeling of something being amiss.
Be careful of jumping into a committed relationship right off the bat: It can be tempting to jump into a committed relationship quickly when you find someone you have a fiery connection with.
However, you don't really know that person yet and you're getting emotionally invested in someone that you don't know much about. As time progresses, you may find out things that you really don't like or that you're truly not compatible with this person. Because you invested so much emotional energy quickly, this can hurt a lot more than it would have if you had taken time to get to know the person before putting your whole heart in to the relationship.
When we're in the "romantic" stages of the beginning of a relationship, we are often making choices out of lust and fantasy-like projections instead of reality and logic. It's important to remain grounded and patient when deciding to be seriously committed to someone.
Give people a chance that you normally wouldn't give a chance to: If I had a dime for every time someone told me they weren't going to go out with someone because they weren't their "type," I'd be a rich woman!
Remember attraction can grow the more you get to know a person and their personality. Some people also take a lot of time to get to know and don't wear their heart on their sleeves. Still waters run deep and you may not get a chance to find that out if you don't take the time to get to know someone. Throw out your checklist: Many people have extensive lists of what qualities and traits their ideal partner has to have.
If you box yourself in to a checklist you may miss out on some great matches for you. It's almost impossible to find a perfect checklist partner, and when we think we have found it we throw all caution to the wind and disregard some not so desirable qualities. A great relationship has emotional compatibility.
How does the person make you feel as opposed to what does this person look like on paper? Look for qualities that are the foundation of a good partnership, throw the tiny details out: The qualities of a person that help to build the foundation of a good partnership are: Empathy, integrity, honesty, reliability, kindness and emotional generosity. If you find these qualities in someone, be curious about pursuing it further, even if they may not seem like your type on the surface.
Other criteria, like "sense of humor," "world traveler," and "good dancer" are nice-to-haves but don't necessarily have to be there for you to be happy in your relationship. Don't let lust be your guide: People have a tendency to put up with a lot of crap from someone they are dating when they feel a magnetic chemistry with them.
Magnetic chemistry has a strong power because it isn't something that happens often. When we find someone we have magnetic chemistry with, not only is it an aphrodisiac that we can't get enough of but we also confuse it with the right person e.
Magnetic chemistry is great but don't excuse bad behavior because of it. Don't confuse an "emotional roller coaster" with being crazy about someone: When someone isn't fully emotionally available to us or we don't know where they stand, it creates a type of anxiety.
The anxiety has a way of taking over our brains to the point where our thoughts are all consumed by this person. We're constantly thinking about where they are and what they are doing. Before we know it, we start planning our lives around them.
Maybe you decide to keep your calendar open just so you don't miss an opportunity to see this person. When the person validates and affirms you, it feels great! On the flip side, when they remove themselves emotionally, ignore, manipulate or berate, it feels like the worst thing in the world. Soon the relationship has turned into a see-saw of high-highs and low-lows, which can make us feel a bit crazy or out of our element.
Don't confuse these type of feelings with love. Find someone you can be yourself around: This may sound cliched but it's true. Picking a partner where you feel like you can be percent yourself with no judgment and complete acceptance is a wonderful and liberating feeling. In life it can be difficult to find venues where you can truly be yourself.
A relationship should be your safe and comfortable place where you don't have to keep a mask on. Don't keep waiting for something to change that obviously won't: The longer you stay in a situation that you know is ultimately doomed or doesn't align with your personal values, the more you block yourself from having the opportunity to meet the right person.
Be clear with yourself about what you will and won't accept and know what your deal-breakers are. Once you become clear on those things, it is easier to make a decision about the fate of a relationship. Have fun! The less pressure you put on yourself, the happier you are with yourself, and the more at ease you are will create a space to attract the right kind of people to you.
Sometimes it takes seeing a lot of what you don't want to figure out what you do want. Enjoy yourself! This article originally appeared on Pamela's Punch. Licensed psychotherapist, writer, public speaker and anti-war activist. News U. HuffPost Personal Video Horoscopes. Newsletters Coupons. Follow Us. Part of HuffPost Wellness. All rights reserved. Huffington Post. Suggest a correction. Lena Aburdene Derhally, Contributor Licensed psychotherapist, writer, public speaker and anti-war activist.
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Which Personality Type is Your Love Match?
Tired of Tinder? Here's how to find the yin to your yang, as advised by Susan Quilliam of Welldoing. Up until very recently, choosing a partner was a one-off event. Our grandparents would date a little in their teens, then partner up after finishing their studies or starting their career.
Whether or not you will share this day with someone, you probably thought about how your ideal partner and relationship should look like. Most of the couples meet at work or in school, followed closely by nightclubs, bars or private parties. The gym, as a place to meet your chosen one is almost as popular as online dating services or apps. Something also interesting is when comparing gays and lesbians with each other. Lesbians usually meet each other at work or in school.
11 Things You Should Contemplate Before Choosing a Life Partner
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10 Tips for Choosing the Right Partner
Common attributes that come to mind include intelligence, kindness, sense of humor, attractiveness, or reliability. We may think we are looking for a partner who complements us only in positive ways, but on an unconscious level, we are frequently drawn to people who complement us in negative ways as well. What this means is that we tend to pick partners who fit in with our existing emotional baggage. We are inclined to replay events and dynamics that hurt us in the past in our adult relationships.
There are a myriad number of ways to go about finding a partner these days. Work, church, dating sites and recreational activity groups are great places to start. But, you have to know what you are looking for and what to avoid.
The 3 Most Important Truths To Finding A Partner For Life
Barton Goldsmith. What really jumped out at me was this line: "Picking the right person for the right reasons at the right time is an art form. With the divorce rates as high as they are, it makes sense that it takes the right person, right time and right reasons to make a fulfilling and strong relationship.
Finding someone to date is challenging enough. Finding a person you can be happy with for the rest of your life can feel impossible. Take your time, spend time with your friends, and take care of yourself. Date, but date calmly. Commit, but commit carefully. Love can't be rushed.
How to Find Your Partner and Grow Your Relationship
I had no idea how much I had been influenced by Hollywood when it came to identifying what I wanted in an ideal partner. It was watermarked all over my wish list. It was hard to ignore. There was an undertone of entitlement in my wishes. They sounded more like demands than requests or desires. My list looked like I was ordering a custom healing balm to soothe my loneliness and lack of self-worth.
Finding the right partner or spouse is not like finding the right person to help you survive a lonely summer -- it means finding a person that you can see yourself growing old with and loving thirty, forty, or fifty or more years down the line. Choosing the person you want to marry or commit to forever is serious business, and it demands a lot of forethought, responsibility, and honesty. But once you've found that special person, all of your hard work will be worth it and you can get ready for a lifetime of happiness.
Dating Tips for Finding the Right Person
Are you single and looking for love? Are you finding it hard to meet the right person? Life as a single person offers many rewards, such as being free to pursue your own hobbies and interests, learning how to enjoy your own company, and appreciating the quiet moments of solitude. For many of us, our emotional baggage can make finding the right romantic partner a difficult journey.
8 ways to find the right partner for you