Girlfriend wants to meet her ex for coffee
The Dating Nerd is a shadowy figure whose whereabouts and identifying details remain unknown. What we do know is that he is really, really good at dating. Need his help? What should I do? Exed, my opinion will be unpopular.
My Ex Wants To Hang Out…What Do I Do?!
Things had been great between us. Two things happened when I got here, however, which have me thinking. First, when I arrived I was very ill with a horrible cold. My boyfriend was also sick with food poisoning but he avoided me physically. I was hurt but understood. Second, a few days ago while he was on skype with his dad, a text-message came to him on the phone.
Yes, I made the mistake of looking at it! The text was from his ex-girlfriend arranging to meet him for lunch on Friday. He had gone outside to speak privately, and I had a hunch it was something untoward.
When the text came I thought it might have been important. He came up soon after and we talked. He defended being friends with her they dated for about two years saying she helped him during a very difficult time in his life and so on.
Also, I pointed out his tendency to keep his relations with her private. I made no comment at that time…. I think it is unacceptable for him to be meeting her, texting and talking with her when he is four months into a new relationship. What do you think? By the way, I do trust my boyfriend, but I find it almost an insult to me, or to our relationship, that he would still be in touch with her. Thanks, Emily.
I think you are particularly sensitive to your own needs and feelings and somewhat clueless about the needs and feelings of your boyfriend. This is paranoid thinking and it serves you no practical purpose. Cut him some slack, will ya? Jealousy is a useless emotion, Emily. The only thing that jealousy indicates is how insecure you are.
It says nothing about your boyfriend. Good men and women stay in touch with their exes because their exes are kind people with whom they share a lot of history. I have photos, love letters, and emails from women in my past.
I even wrote to my ex on Facebook today. Not to mention that my wife has her first wedding album in a drawer in our home. Because any man who cuts off his friendships because of an insecure ex will get what he deserves — an irrationally jealous girlfriend who will never trust him no matter what.
Click here to learn more:. Yes, yes, yes!! And obviously, there are reasons why he chose you as a romantic partner. Do I want to get back with them romantically? Heck no. But I definitely want to stay in touch because I care about them in the same way I care about my other friends.
Ever hear the saying trust what you see not what you hear. I have been in similar situations many times over my 57 years and have dated women that admittedly say they have lots of guy friends and hang out with there exes. I do however tell them that I do not believe in collecting exes and do not believe in going out one on one with guy friends.
I in turn will tolerate what I am comfortable with and will depart if I am not. The choice is always hers and if she requires those relationships the then I am not the right guy for her, no hard feelings. If you have to fight for inches of comfort in a so-called comitted relationship, it is not worth it. Here is an analogy for you.
Everyone that voices concern about this is told they are insecure. I am in a relationship right now that is wonderful. We had this same discussion i. The beginning. She said it was a no brained, as she enjoys the same level of consideration from me. I told all my then female friends that will not be communicating with them any longer as I do not want this very spe ial new girl of mine to be uncomfortabl.
The ones that were true friends said they understand and are happy for me. That simple! Hiding, secretive behavior, lying…is unethical, disrespectful and damaging to any relationship. As we get older, most of us have exes. Anything less is unhealthy for the new relationship. With my partner who wants to hang out with his ex just the 2 of them and he believes that he should be able to have single females friends still while we are in a relationship!!
I agree totally with you. The blame falls on the current girlfriend and an accusation of insecurity always follows. Some men think that they can have their cake and eat it too. Like no man ever slept with an ex when he and the current girlfriend have a falling out. Move on. If you want to move on and form a new committed relationship it is best to make a clean break and leave the past in the past.
I hope your relationship works out.. I hope I meet someone like you one day. But I can leave. Pure and simple. I have to agree with Toms here. The fact that he tried to hide who the call was from DOES say something about him, and that is that he is willing to be sneaky instead of forthcoming about his friendship with his ex, who may very well have dumped HIM and has changed her mind.
Meet her, not as a grueling exercise in ignoring your own instincts, but to get a better read on the situation. You may very well come to realize that they are, as he says, not interested in each other. But definitely it will help to demystify her. He never said anything, but I figured that out pretty fast and stopped doing it. But then, I would not be happy if he met an old flame for lunch, and we have been married for 27 years as of October 1. But different strokes for different folks.
I just wanted to say that it is not unheard-of for a partner to go back to his or her ex without warning. There are some bad actors out there. Trust, but verify, especially in a relationship that is only four months old. I completely agree with you, the persons response shocked me, i think theres reason to worry, yes people should have privacy but comunication between who you talk to and hangout with should be exchanged i feel. I dont think its right to meet someone youve had previous relations with wothout taking to your present signifucant other.
I just recently told my boyfriend that I had no problem with exes being friends as he knew about exes of mine but there is one of his that would be a problem because she will not accept friendship. Her permanent goal is to be with him and I would feel uncomfortable with that friendship. It would give me a trust issue because when him and I were strictly friends he would always complain about her, breakup with her and turn around and get back with her.
Flashforward now we are dating and she comes around because of her sick dog. Well she shows up to the house when I was there freaking out threatening to report him to his po…. Boyfriend tells me he is done with her then ignores me for a few weeks and takes his ex to a wedding.
I try to call to talk but he ignores my call…shocker…that is the kind to be leery of. You are totally right. It is that simple. Who is more important? You ex or your girlfriend? If anything makes your girl feeling sad or bad, you should be the first one to change it. I am not insecure. I am very confident but i do not like my man talking with ex. I am ex of someone else and I know exactly how things work.
If the guy want so bad keep his friendship with his ex , that guy is not for me! Lucky girl you have! Congratulations you are a truly gentle man.
Finally someone who makes sence here. If someone is being secretive about their relationships period with their exes or anybody for that matter automatically are in the wrong. If you have nothing to hide you dont go around acting as though you have something to hide. Only exes anyone should be in constant contact with is the ones with children.
Her Ex Wants To Hang Out
Subscribe To Our Newsletter! Is your new girlfriend still talking to her ex-boyfriend? How do you feel about that? Will your relationship suffer because of it?
Some forums can only be seen by registered members. Long story short my girlfriend broke up with me 2 months ago. She didn't know if breaking up or staying together is right. She said she needed time and space and if it was meant to be it was meant to be and if not we would move on. I still really want her back and I've made changes in my life to become a better person.
How to Persuade My Ex to Meet Up With Me For Coffee
I always thought break-ups were simple affairs. Much better to take a practical approach: delete their number, block their social media accounts and purge their leftover belongings from your home. He was my best friend. We grew up together in Sydney and had one of those freakishly close relationships that only really develop during childhood. We shared everything: from school gossip to family problems. He was the first person I came out to, and I was his. We started going out in our mid-twenties when he moved back to Sydney after several years away.
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Being friends with an ex is always a tricky business. The truth is, marriage shouldn't be the dealbreaker. Sometimes, being friends with an ex is totally natural. Either you dated a long time ago or your relationship was never that serious, so it was easy to transition. But emotions are complicated—and often the situation is a lot more ambiguous.
Ohhhhh man… What do you do? What does it mean? Do they miss you? Do they want you back?
How To Act Around Your Ex
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Should I Let My Boyfriend Be Friends With His Ex?
By Jennifer Seiter. Understanding how you act around your ex is an essential part of getting your ex back and in this post I am going to give you 6 powerful tips that you must read so you are prepared before running into your ex. I get questions everyday in our private Facebook community about how to act around an ex if you accidentally run into him or her during a no contact period , the first meet up and in the rebuilding attraction phase. I am actually going to give you a detailed explanation of each below,. It may come as a big shock to them if you had established a pattern of being a jealous person during your relationship. Talking about the breakup during a meet up is a devastating mistake that will set you back in this process.
It's a nice thought: having coffee with your ex lover. Spending a few hours one afternoon across from the person you once gave your heart to, now older, wiser. Theoretically, it could be both progressive and comforting to find space for an old flame in your new life. It would mean that it wasn't all for nothing — you're adults now, you can be civil, right? A friendship would validate the relationship's demise, wouldn't it?