I cant get a girlfriend and i m depressed
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Tell Me About It: I’m a depressed virgin and I can’t get a girlfriend
Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community. I'm a 25 year old male. I've never had a girlfriend, kissed a girl or been on a date and I am a virgin. I pretty much have no experience when it comes to romance or intimacy.
I feel very lonely, unwanted and unappreciated. I am an introvert by nature and I'm very shy. I'm not the most attractive guy out there, but I do have a good heart and would like to be with someone. I'm quite straight laced and I'm not the party type. I consider myself down-to-earth, polite, kind, considerate, intelligent, tenderhearted, respectful, responsible and genuinely sensitive.
I'm not interested in one-night stands or cheap hookups. I value committed, authentic romantic relationships. I've only known heartbreak when it comes to women. I've really liked several girls over the years and ended up heartbroken either because they didn't feel the same way, they already had boyfriends or I asked them out and they rejected me.
There are times where I feel that I cannot relate to most people my age because I just have not had the same experiences as them. I dread conversations about sex or relationships with my friends.
It really does makes you feel less of a man. I'm also extremely worried that because I have literally no intimate experience whatsoever with anyone, girls will not want to get involved with me because of it. I feel like most girls wouldn't want to be with a man that doesn't have any romantic experience at the age of However it wasn't until I was 20 until I fell in love and who I married for 25 years when I was 21, and she was my first and only love in my life, but we aren't still together, but that's not the point here for your post.
What you are going through is very sad, I know, it was frustrating and felt left out, and some of your peers may suggest going online for a dating service, but these lead you on and only cost money and then more money as you get hooked on the dating site promising you the world, but then nothing.
When you see and then meet someone just ask them about their life, what they do and what they like to do, this will then let them know that you are interested in what they do, so what if it's not what you like, because down the track you may learn that you will eventually like it doing it. If you dominate what you like first of all then that's a turn off straight away, and make yourself presentable, not that I'm saying you don't already.
Just remember that your mates will exaggerate on what they say about their relationships, because if by chance you asked their partner about what they said I.
Let me explain. I grew up in a rural area where the local guys used to have competitions to see how many females they could "have" in a weekend and would mark their conquests with a notch on their steering wheels or dashboard! I was determined to not be a part of this culture and moved out of the town, but not before I was almost taken advantage of by three of these guys while I was out walking.
My sister was not so lucky and was raped in bed while being the guest of one of these guys mothers. So what kind of guy would I have preferred to have known?
I'm not interested in one-night stands or cheap hook-ups. Like Geoff mentioned, don't worry about what your mates say, do they respect women, are they exaggerating a little, who knows.
He also gave you some good tips on how to communicate with people in general. Ask them about themselves, that helps get the conversation going. Hi Doolhof and Geoff, thank you for your replies. My opportunities to meet women have been quite limited. I live in a rural mining town in QLD. Like most mining towns pretty much the whole social scene revolves around drinking alcohol and partying on the weekend.
Last year I met a girl whom I really liked a lot. We became good friends and I really wanted get to know her better as a person. I had high hopes that she really liked me too and I had plans to muster up the courage and ask her on a date. Just as I was about to do that she met someone else and refuses to talk to me now and treats me like I don't exist, which really hurt me a lot.
Why that is I have no idea. When I would get close to a girl and express my feelings I was always met with rejection with the same old line: "You're a lovely guy but I just want to be friends. This whole thing has battered my self-esteem. Apart from work, I rarely leave the house and I just don't have the passion for life I once had. I'm convinced no girl would possibly want to be with me, so why put myself out there and risk getting hurt like I have time after time. Plus, it's safe to say that most women won't want anything to do with a guy who hasn't even been kissed at the age of I'm so sorry I seem to have been unaware you had made a reply!
I am so very sorry for the lack of communication! I haven't been feeling myself lately due to some unwanted side effects with medication and then needing to come off them. Anyway, besides all of that, how are you getting on? Have you managed to get out of your home recently to join in some social events?
Do you have any hobbies or interests that you could become involved in? Are there groups in town you might like to join?
Are there nice restaurants about the place? Places to go for a picnic or a walk? Can you invite a small group of people to join you in some kind of activity you would enjoy? Have you tried dating sites at all? I have no idea at all about them either, but all the ads on t. Having people not answer you back here on this forum can't be helping you feel good about yourself either, so I am very sorry about that! Dude, you are not alone!
I'm a year older than you and have had next to no action either! Part of that was because I only really discovered my sexuality a few years ago little slow on the uptake but still -- when it comes to intimacy I'm a complete novice! And that weighed on me for a loooong time. But you know what? It's not a big deal. Life works in mysterious ways All these guys you've referenced, who sleep around with countless women?
Prob not gonna ever find that someone special! I have friends like that, who focus so heavily on the number of girls they can pull - and I think to myself, Are they happy though? You seem like a really decent, intelligent dude. Learn to love yourself! Be comfortable in your own skin. Soon you might start radiating confidence!
Humour yourself, you might be surprised by what happens. My parents met when they were in their late twenties, and neither of them had had a relationship before. And they're still the happiest couple I know. Focus on yourself, your interests and your goals, and trust that the other side of things will work itself out ;. What you wrote caught my attention and since I'm older, allow me to share some advise into the issues from my life experiences.
I am 56, single, lived on my own all my life, have no children and never been married, so I do understand what you are feeling.
First of all, can I please advise you not to try any of those internet dating sites. So forget internet dating for now.
It's not the way to go and it will only lower your self esteem from being rejected and that's not what you want at this stage. Have you tried joining a social group? Depending on where you live, most areas will have a social groups which consist of a vast range of activities that attract singles of all ages.
Once you get involved, you will meet people and the idea is to build up a social network of friends, whether it be male or female friends, it doesn't matter. Once you get to know people you get to meet and go out with other people from outside the social group.
If you meet a girl that your not interested in, just be friends and you will meet more people from having friends. Learn to dance. Go out to dinners. Live bands. Movie nights. Weekends trips. Enrol in a cooking class. These friends will not pre-judge you simply because you've never been in a relationship.
Good luck. Hi SC, I wish I could offer some helpful advice but unfortunately I'm in much the same boat as you, with many of the same fears regarding lack of relationship experience - only I'm five years older. Well done on having the courage to put yourself out there and approach women that you are interested in; I wish I could say the same for myself!
I'd have to agree with Peter regarding online dating. Competition is fierce and you'll more than likely hurt your self-esteem by partaking in it.
Don’t Kill Yourself Because You Can’t Get A Girlfriend
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Subscribe To Our Newsletter! Obviously, this has made me more compassionate and understanding towards people who are depressed or on the verge of giving up for any reason. There are a lot of great comments below the article where guys are expressing themselves and their opinions and helping other guys feel better about themselves. I want to thank everyone who has commented over the years and helped me understand more about how you are feeling. So make sure you scroll down to the comments and connect with like-minded people.
The last time I had a girlfriend was when I was I have also never had sex. My friends have had numerous girlfriends and they make me feel uncomfortable all the time. I graduated this year. For some reason I never hear from that person again. My mother has cancer. My dad works full-time, so he can help only when he comes home. A You have had some very tough experiences and yet you express that you have so much going for you. You are a caring son who looks after his mother, you have completed a course at third level as well as a course in acting, and you care about your younger brother enough to allow him take the bulk of the attention in the house.
21 Reasons You Can’t Get A Girlfriend