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Ex bf wants to meet for coffee

Ohhhhh man… What do you do? What does it mean? Do they miss you? Do they want you back? Should you say yes?!

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Meeting Up with Your Ex

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Ex Wants To Meet For Coffee

My Ex Wants To Hang Out…What Do I Do?!

So me and my ex broke up three months ago. I have basically not spoken with her for the last month as I have been spending time trying to get my head screwed on straight and improve my own outlook. Over the last month there have been a couple of email back and forths but these have been light conversations and nothing at all about the relationship.

The break up was reasonably amicable and we still get on well. So… I get this email today from her saying she wants to meet up for coffee.

I didn't know what to make of this so I went back to her on some other stuff she raised but avoided saying anything about the coffee part completely. She then replied thanking me for replying and saying again that do I want to meet for coffee this week or on Saturday. I haven't yet replied to this email yet. What on earth do I do now? I am really scared that if I go for coffee it's going to be as just friends and will re-open all the old wounds which are only just starting to heal and even so are healing really slowly as I still think about her every day and I still love her.

If I say no, it looks like I don't want to see her and am not confident enough to spend time with her outside of our relationship. If her motives are just to meet as friends then I'm not ready for that. If however her motives are that she is considering reconciliation, then I could be passing up the thing I really want the most.

I cant ask her what her motives are for meeting up for coffee as that's just really awkward. I really want to see her but I don't want to bring back all the hurt I have spent the last three months trying to get rid of and am not really succeeding at. I know this is a overlong response to a simple coffee invite but I felt sacrificing brevity is justified to ensure we avoid any misunderstandings or cross-purposes. My instinctive overwhelming reaction was that it would be fantastic to see you for a coffee and I hope you know that there is not a person on this planet that I love spending time with more than you.

But on taking a step back my head is telling me it is too soon to be just friends. You told me you still love me as a friend but I love you as a partner, that's what I still want us to be, and it's going to take some time for that to change.

Probably a lot of time. Maybe it never will. I can't just pretend to not have these non-platonic feelings for you while hanging out with you as your friend. Its just not fair on either of us if just one us is wanting a reconciliation.

I have been putting a huge amount of work into both myself and into accepting that my best friend and my girlfriend doesn't want to be with me anymore and I just can't risk reliving the pain of losing you again so soon. I want you as my life partner and to compromise myself on this would not do my feelings for you justice. I do hope you understand. Let me share a personal experience that happened not too long ago. My ex broken up with me 2 months ago and it was out of the blue, I was initially shocked and did all the begging, crying and stuff.

For the past month I decided to go NC, not for the sake of making her miss me but to let myself heal. I know from the conversations I had with her shows that she won't want to give it another try.

To my surprise, 3 days ago, she contacted me and asked me if I would like to have lunch with her. I hesitated initially like you, I was afraid of having false hopes and bring back the pain I felt not too long ago. In the end I went and we had a wonderful time, we talked and laughed like old times, it was happiness I would trade anything for in this world. We ended up 'making out' that day. In the end, I asked her to come back to me, give us another chance, but she denied me, that was one of the worst feelings I felt in 2 months.

Short to say, it was both the happiness and saddest day I could remember. Well, I am back to NC now and I clearly told her only to contact me again if she regrets her decision and wants to come back to the road we planned for each other.

Back to your side of things, I don't think you should send the email, you could be pressuring her for a decision she has not even made before meeting you.

I think you should go for the meetup and see how things develop, at the end of the day, tell her your feelings and also the letter you prepared, if the outcome is not good, then make it clear to her how you feel and ask her to only contact you again if she wants to reconcile. Thank you for replying. I took your advice and agreed to meet my ex.

We met on Saturday for a couple of hours. We started with coffee and then went and had a picnic lunch in a local park. The meeting went really well. I kept the conversation light and we just caught up on whats been happening in each lives and shared a few laughs.

I had scheduled a meeting with other friends later in the afternoon so I had a reason to end the catch up as I just didn't know how it would go. I said to my ex that I had to head off and instead of her making her own way off she asked if she could come with me on the train and just walk and talk a bit more. I agreed. When it finally came to say goodbye we had a very emotional hug, she started crying and saying how proud she was of me for all the changes I had made and she would like to meet up again soon and talk about where we should go.

So all in all I thought it went very well and I am fairly hopefully she is considering some sort of reconciliation.

I am not going to get too excited just yet as I don't want to be disappointed and I have realistic expectations but the signs appear to be good. I just don't want to screw it up after having made such good progress.

I am not sure what the next step should be. I am thinking of giving her a few days without me contacting her and then drop her an email later in the week asking her out to a museum or something? Any advice would be appreciated. I am in a similar situation and with similar feelings to you 1 hour ago' she called me and wants to talk to me after she end up suddenly but I read your story.

If you don't feel the same please don't call me. I am only trying to protect my heart'. Since Saturday I gave her a couple days of not getting in touch.

I emailed her today Tuesday to say that I had a great time catching up with her and if she was free, maybe we could meet up again this weekend. She came right back saying that it was good to see me too and she would be keen to see me again this weekend and that it would be good to talk some more and maybe grab a bite to eat. So far, so good but its risky cos if she turns around after all this progress and just wants to be friends I will be back to square one. I have to give it a shot though.

So what happened. Since I last posted, I kept seeing her albeit, in low key relaxed settings. It was going well, and things started turning a corner or so I thought. Then in September, she turns around to me and says she is moving to Australia. And that's what she did last December. I am still in the UK and have met someone new which is early days but so far so good.

Almost a year after the break up, and on reflection, I should have never let her back in. It just prolongs the healing process and is emotionally confusing. I also feel like she was using me slightly as she was a bit lonely and wanted to be around someone familiar whilst she made the decision to move to the other side of the world. I enjoyed her company and wanted to be around her too so that's how I internally rationalised spending time with her despite knowing it would just prolong things.

Since she moved, she has only contacted me once to say happy birthday. I sent her a message on her birthday and got no response at all which backs ups my thinking. Overall, I will always love her, but I deserve someone to treat me with more respect than she did.

I don't regret seeing her as I really wanted to do everything I possible could to try and make things work. Now that I have tried, I can move on with my head held high.

Now I look back on it, all the signs were pointing towards her biding her time before the big move and not wanting to spend that time alone. I still miss her everyday and probably always will but that is life I guess. Every day gets a little easier. This is a little bit too late of a reply.. But I just want to say thank you for posting your outcomes, I hope this will eventually happen to me too. Appericiate your story Sam. I must admit it was a little suspenseful! But it was good information being in the same situation now.

I almost want to decline my ex's request to meet to avoid the potential reversal of the three week nc four week breakup. Do you ever wish you sent the email you prepared?

As far as the old wound re opening. Pain is pain. Any way you cut it. Feelings are temporary, the pain will pass.

Seize the opportunity! He broke my heart a million times , what should I do? Forget him? Wow thanks so much for this thread! Im in a very similar situation, spent a couple of months trying to get my head right after breaking up and now she wants to catch up Hope it works out man, I guess all I can say is that generally its a bad idea to meet up.

Good luck dude.

Why Would An Ex Boyfriend Want To Meet Up?

So me and my ex broke up three months ago. I have basically not spoken with her for the last month as I have been spending time trying to get my head screwed on straight and improve my own outlook. Over the last month there have been a couple of email back and forths but these have been light conversations and nothing at all about the relationship.

By Chris Seiter. He took your heart, threw it to the ground, stomped on it, and then took a sledgehammer to crush the remaining pieces to dust. Why would he want to meet up?

It's a nice thought: having coffee with your ex lover. Spending a few hours one afternoon across from the person you once gave your heart to, now older, wiser. Theoretically, it could be both progressive and comforting to find space for an old flame in your new life. It would mean that it wasn't all for nothing — you're adults now, you can be civil, right? A friendship would validate the relationship's demise, wouldn't it?

How to Know When Your Ex Boyfriend Wants You Back

Sometimes they can be obvious, but other times your ex might be giving them off without even knowing it. The signals below are all good indications that your ex boyfriend is thinking about rekindling your romance:. The subject of these conversations may get romantic, but probably not right away. After all, you have a long and intimate history together… jealousy could still linger on either side. Most guys will avoid talking about new love interests or girlfriends. If you want you boyfriend back, this is always a great sign. Over time, the memories of fighting and arguing begin to fade away, leaving only the good times behind. Maybe we should do that again! Your Ex Boyfriend Asks You To Lunch — This is the classic opening move for a guy trying to get back into a relationship with an ex girlfriend. His behaviors will even mimic the beginning of your old relationship, back at the time he was courting you.

7 Things To Consider Before Getting Coffee With An Ex

Go to Page Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. So i met with my ex earlier today. I was going in with the impression that i would spill all my emotions on the table at some point and apoligize and ask for her back and if she didn't take me back or atleast agree to take steps to build towards a new relationship i would walk and never talk to her again.

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Ex wants to meet up for coffee... help!

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Jul 16, - Whether you're looking to get back your ex boyfriend (or just want to If your ex asks to meet you for a quick meal or cup of coffee, odds are.

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Comments: 2
  1. JoJokora

    What necessary words... super, magnificent idea

  2. Kagajin

    It agree, it is the remarkable answer

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