Get over the girl
Breakups are hard, whatever the duration of the relationship; the result is almost always a broken, battered heart. While many pity the fairer sex for getting hurt so often, coupled with a vengeful attitude towards men, we must remember that even the tougher of the sexes can have their hearts broken. It isn't easy to wake up every morning with that hollow, uncomfortable feeling, as the realization of what happened slowly settles in. Sleepless nights, multiple tequila shots, outrage, humiliation, a sense of deep loss — these are just some of the things that the common, emotionally fraught, heartbroken guy goes through.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How to Get Over a Girl That Doesn't Like You Back - 5 Proven Steps
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It Isn’t Easy, But This is How to Get Over a Girl You Love
Falling in love can be brilliant If you have fallen in love with a girl who doesn't feel the same, whatever the reason, you'll need to overcome these feelings to move on with your life.
To get over a girl you love, you'll need to put as much space between the two of you as possible; when you do interact, try to do so only in public spaces and stay away from personal topics or planned activities if you have to be alone together.
Thinking objectively about the situation and taking steps toward a better future should also help heal your wounds. Feeling emotional pain after a breakup is a natural, physical response.
Amy Chan, founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, says: "The chemicals that cause you to be blissfully in love during the beginning of a relationship are the exact same ones that cause you to suffer when it ends. Your brain goes into withdrawal when you're no longer with that person. When you do see her, try to hang out in groups and interact with her as you do with everyone else, which will help you to see her as just another friend.
You should also try to fill your free time with other activities, like volunteering at a local organization or taking up a new hobby, since this will give you something else to focus your thoughts on.
Her team of psychologists and coaches have helped hundreds of individuals in just 2 years of operation, and the bootcamp has been featured on CNN, Vogue, the New York Times, and Fortune. There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. Explore this Article Taking Care of Yourself.
Being Together in a Public Space. Spending Time Alone Together. Express Yourself Elsewhere. Move On. Show 2 more Show less Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Article Summary. Method 1 of Acknowledge your feelings. It is natural and normal to feel grief before you feel acceptance.
Don't shy away from admitting, at least to yourself, that you are going through a difficult time. Understand yourself as best you can and don't reject your emotions out of hand. Instead, just focus on keeping them under control. Increase your distance. Nothing helps soothe the pain of seeing the girl you can't be with better than simply not being around her as much. This doesn't necessarily have to mean ceasing all contact, but it will mean seeing her less, which may sound awful but is actually the best way to start getting on with the rest of your life.
Only spend time with her when she calls you; don't call her yourself and ask to spend time together. You'll still see each other occasionally, but in most cases you'll see a sharp decline in the amount of time you spend together — and an increase in your personal free time. Stop doing favors for her. Doing favors for someone because you are attracted to them will only lead to your feeling used and misunderstood further down the line.
Just as importantly, doing favors for a girl will only have one of two possible effects on her: One, she will assume you are naturally that giving, and begin taking your favors for granted, or two, she will assume you are trying to ingratiate yourself to her in exchange for the possibility of a date, which will make her uncomfortable around you. If you buy her gifts without asking or just because she said she wanted something , cover her tab in cafes and restaurants, offer your services as a driver, or otherwise treat her differently than you would treat any of your other friends, that is a favor and it is important that you stop.
Put potential favors through a simple test. When you find yourself about to do something for the girl you are trying to get over, ask yourself if you would be so willing to do the same thing for a good male friend. If not, you are probably trying to do her an extra favor rather than just be a good friend.
Decline requests for favors. If the girl in question is used to you doing favors for her, and asks a favor of you, politely decline and suggest alternatives, such as other people who might be able to help her out instead. Alter your schedule. Leaving for school a few minutes earlier than usual can help you avoid bumping into the object of your affection on the sidewalk or in the hallway.
Taking unusual routes between classes can also help ensure you will see her less often. If you're seeing her in a workplace environment, consider trading some shifts so that you work fewer shifts alongside her.
Change your scene. Very often, an unattainable girl is an integral part of your group of friends. Try spending time with a few friends at a time, rather than the whole group, so you can avoid having to be around her so much. If you have friends outside of your primary circle who you see less often, consider spending more time with them, as well. They'll feel appreciated, and you will be safely occupied away from the girl you've fallen for.
Try quitting cold turkey. If the thought of seeing her even occasionally upsets you, you may have to plan to stop spending time with her altogether. Eventually she will contact you less and move on to people who have more time to spend around her. Method 2 of Avoid alone time. If you can't help being around the girl you love because of a job, for instance , use structure to your advantage.
Formal group settings such as the workplace and the classroom are the ideal environment for establishing emotional boundaries with yourself. Simply interact the same way with the girl in question as you do with everyone else. Make it clear to yourself and her that there is no special relationship; that you are simply colleagues doing work side by side.
When you do work together, keep the conversation focused on the task at-hand. Find safety in numbers. Outside of structured environments, there will still be times when you'll have to be near your love. You can keep yourself from getting shaken or upset by choosing to interact with groups of people rather than individuals, thus minimizing the chances that you'll end up alone together at any point.
For example, when the two of you are sitting together on a couch at a friend's house, it will be hard not to focus on her. Change that to four people stuffed onto a couch playing a game together, and it becomes much easier to spread your attention around. Treat her the same way you treat your other friends, and the pressure will be off before you know it.
The key is to try to see her as just another girl. Method 3 of Have topics ready to discuss. Consider your thoughts on every political, cultural, religious, and scientific topic that you find interesting.
Even if your only interest is something simple like video games or movies, explore that interest in your mind. By talking about information and opinions rather than emotions and relationships, you will be able to keep your cool and avoid painful topics, without alienating the girl as a friend.
Because you are already enthusiastic about these topics, you will find it easy to talk about them when you have a captive audience — in fact, you may find it difficult to stop talking once you start.
Always have an activity on-hand. Obviously, a shared activity can be interpreted as a date by either party, so it is important to avoid planning things like going out for dinner together.
Instead, have pastimes in mind for those times when you find yourself alone with the girl you like in your house, or hers, or in a car with nothing to do. Carry a deck of cards, or even suggest taking some time to help each other study. Just keep it pedestrian. The important thing is to avoid situations where mixed signals can enter the equation, such as cuddling together on a couch or stargazing on a country road. Remember, you want to get over her, not make things worse.
Meditate beforehand. Meditation has several benefits, not the least of which is improved clarity of mind. Even a person who is experiencing a tumult of emotion on the inside can stay calm for long enough to have an evening out with a friend if he or she learns to focus ahead of time. At its most basic, meditation is as simple as breathing deeply and being still in a quiet place while focusing on yourself. Tell yourself that you will stay in control and remain focused on getting over your attraction, and carry that focus with you when you go to see her.
5 Steps To Get Over The Girl You’ve Been Obsessing Over
In other words, complete desperation. Because forgetting takes time. Assess yourself, but do more than just that: set goals that you can achieve in the short term and then work towards building them in the long term. It sounds like a borderline self-help suggestion, I know, but it really is the only way to recalculate the way your brain is thinking at this particular obsessive-fueled moment.
.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: I Can't Get Over Her - 6 Reasons Why & How To Get Over Her!