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Looking for girlfriend > 50 years > How to find wife islam

How to find wife islam

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Skip to content. An Iranian woman holds up her hand, painted with henna, under a religious sentence as she prepares for a wedding ceremony in the city of Qeshm on Qeshm Island in the Persian Gulf, November 1, The sentence reads, "In the name of Allah, the Beneficent and the Merciful. Shaikh's parents are Muslim and they lived in India at the time of their wedding back in the s. He was born there too, but when he was 3, they all moved to the US. At home, "there was no such thing as the words dating or relationships.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Little protection for Syrian women who marry as second wives

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Mufti Menk - How to Select a Good Spouse (Part 1/2)

Islamic marital jurisprudence

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I was 19 the first time marriage was mentioned. My mother told me about a young man whose family had expressed an interest in me, and then she promptly left the house. The realisation that I was of marriageable age was clearly as difficult for her as it was surprising to me. I was a geeky young woman who had never even shaken hands with a man, let alone had a boyfriend. Bespectacled before it was cool, I was short-sighted in more ways than one, young enough to believe that good things happened to good people.

My first husband was 11 years older than me. We met only once before the wedding, but spent the year leading up to the big day talking on the phone.

I was in my final year at university. He was a doctor — the ideal profession for a son-in-law — and the eldest of two sons, who had moved to the US from Pakistan after finishing medical school. The living room had a single brown leather sofa and a large TV with huge free-standing speakers on either side. He would take out a tape measure to check the distance between them, the TV and the sofa.

Other than that, he was quiet, reserved. His mother, who lived with us, was not. Much of what happened during that time has faded, but a few things stay with me. The way she would make him sit on her lap, his embarrassment at her kisses, her coming into the bedroom while we slept, her odd questions about whether he used soap in the shower.

I spent all day at home with her. I had no money of my own, and no way of going anywhere. He would come home from work and the three of us would sit side by side watching that enormous TV. She put a hair scrunchie in the pressure cooker and told me it was God teaching me a lesson for asking her to move her hairbrush from the kitchen work surface.

Was I losing my mind? Slowly I began to feel afraid for no reason; I lost weight — it seemed I had married a man and his mother. I was in Mississippi on a three-month visitor visa.

Immigration rules meant that if I applied for a green card I would be unable to return to England for at least two years. The thought of that was unbearable and my mother advised me to come home first. From that point, the demise of the marriage was fast.

I never got back on the plane to the US. My first marriage had lasted a mere three months. At the time, divorce was uncommon in my culture. And people did have a lot to say. The easiest way for a woman to regain her status after a divorce is to say her husband was impotent.

It would have been easy to say I was still a virgin, but that would have been a lie. The truth was simple. I had been married and I was now divorced. I remember scrubbing myself in the shower until I almost bled, trying to clean away my shame. My family felt that the best way to repair the situation was to marry me off again, as soon as possible. I was 23 the second time I got married. My second husband was only a little older than me and was full of liveliness and excitement.

He had the kind of energy that comes with youth, success and arrogance. I remember looking at his trainers the first time we met, and rejoicing. My last husband had worn Hush Puppies. He promised me that if his family interfered he would stand up for me; he promised me it would be different. I can only say that I thought my elders knew better. I was raised as a people-pleaser; I was also raised to see the best in people, even if that meant disregarding my own instincts.

But once again, I found myself living in an extended family. We lived with his mum, dad and little sister, and had frequent visits from his second sister, her husband and their two small children. There was also a third sister who lived with her extended family and who was held up by them as someone I should aspire to be like. The day after the wedding, we visited his parents before boarding a flight for our honeymoon.

On arrival I could sense something was amiss. My father-in-law raised an eyebrow and asked me what I was wearing. I was dressed in a ghagara, a kind of heavily gathered skirt that skims the ground. His grimace displayed his displeasure. My husband told me later that his father had an aversion to skirts and saw my wearing one as a personal affront.

He had an aversion to many things, it would turn out. I had decided to double-barrel my surname, but when my father-in-law saw my mail, his rage knew no bounds. She told me that only actors double-barrelled their names.

Cowed, I gave in. I now understand that the psychological manipulation that followed was gaslighting: my in-laws began slowly eroding my confidence. A few months in, I was cooking all the meals and cleaning the house. It is difficult to explain to someone who has never experienced emotional abuse how words can destroy a person.

A few more months in, my eldest sister-in-law sat me down for a formal talk. I had little say in the matter. I have no doubt that he loved me, that he wanted to spend time with me. We went on beautiful holidays and he bought me lavish gifts, as well as small thoughtful trinkets. I would go so far as to say he adored me. But there was another side to him, the side his parents would rile into a rage, and I would bear the brunt of it.

They had a word with him just before leaving, following which he raged and spewed venom at me. I remember dropping down the wall of the bathroom, unable to breathe, my foundation washing off into my hands.

His sister came to get me and I had to clean myself up and go to the wedding, where he was suddenly apologetic and loving. Exhausted and empty, I accepted his apology. His parents would wind him up like a clockwork toy with great regularity.

I remember sitting by a pool in Morocco, watching helplessly as he sobbed. Their list of petty issues grew. In the winter of , I visited my parents for Eid. My husband rang and something in his tone told me all was not well. He said he wanted me to apologise to his youngest sister, the sister to whom I had given a Christian Dior compact before I left, the sister I had hugged, whom I treated as my own.

But she needed an apology. She was upset about the way I had spoken to her in front of my cousin. I refused, telling him it was none of his business. He shouted. I refused again. Maybe it was because I was home, safe with my parents, or maybe I had taken all I could bear.

Whatever it was, I was done. And so I applied for khula, the Islamic form of divorce that is granted when a woman wishes to leave her husband.

Seated in a small room in the mosque, my parents beside me, and my husband and his father in front, I asked for a divorce. There is a misconception that Islam does not allow a woman the right to divorce her husband.

This lie is spread and made powerful by the halting of the education of girls and women by men, by cultural stigma, and by the mullahs who want to maintain power. A stunned expression spread across his face. He had assumed me to be weak, that a woman who was divorced once would be oppressed and beaten into submission, that I would do anything to avoid the shame again. They had taken my kindness for weakness.

But I knew what it meant to be happy, and I knew I deserved better. Outwardly, I merged my eastern and western wardrobes, mixing kurtas with jeans and shawls. Inwardly, I stopped giving a damn about gossip. The worst had happened. With my personal life dead, my professional life flourished. I was 27 when I landed a traineeship at my local paper. The paper gave me a job and sent me to journalism school. A few years later I was working for the BBC. My father was impossibly proud, recording every news item I was in and boring visitors half to death.

My father understood the importance of freedom.

How does a young Muslim living in the West find a partner these days?

A few questions here Who should you get married to Why should you get married to that person How to get married a second time. As this world is a stage that leads to the hereafter, in which man is tested to see what he will do, so that he will be requited for it on the Day of Resurrection, what the wise Muslim must do is seek in this world everything that will help him to attain happiness and bliss in the hereafter. The most important help and support is righteous company. Then finally he should choose a righteous wife who he hopes will be the best companion to help him attain eternal happiness in paradise with Allah, may He be glorified and exalted. She is the one who is of good character and has good manners.

Toggle navigation. Being a Muslim Wife, rights and duties.

Updated: March 29, References. Asking a friend or loved one for a personal introduction is a good place to start, or you could try getting to know the sisters at your mosque or joining a local Muslim social group. Log in Facebook. No account yet?

What kind of woman is willing to share her husband?

Source : thedailyreminders. I mean, I feel bad but I know that this issue is larger than me and larger than this one brother. I kept saying, keep in mind, marrying a good Muslim wife that will help you fulfill your goal of Jannah in the hearafter and in this life is not the same as picking up a girl in the club or on the street. You are looking for quality, not just a woman. Step 1. Purify your intentions! In the above case, the brother has good intentions, he wants to have a halal outlet for physical desires, he wants to be a father, he wants support, he just plain ole wants a family! Step 2. Check the age difference! If you want to have children, that does not mean you need to marry a teenager or someone in their early twenties.

Being a Muslim Wife, rights and duties

I was 19 the first time marriage was mentioned. My mother told me about a young man whose family had expressed an interest in me, and then she promptly left the house. The realisation that I was of marriageable age was clearly as difficult for her as it was surprising to me. I was a geeky young woman who had never even shaken hands with a man, let alone had a boyfriend. Bespectacled before it was cool, I was short-sighted in more ways than one, young enough to believe that good things happened to good people.

Modern dating can be a challenge for anyone.

Indeed, in that are signs for a people who give thought. The concept of marriage is very ancient dating back beyond Abrahamic religions and recorded history and was practiced by all people of many cultures, religions, and ethnicities throughout the earth. Therefore, it provides the people who are ready for committing themselves to marriage with a comprehensive guideline.

Characteristics of the righteous wife

Jump to navigation. Mohammad are just one of the many places Muslims in North America often meet potential spouses either to make a final decision or to initiate the marriage communication process. Other places include fundraising dinners, regional seminars, lectures, at the home of a relative or friend, and the local mosque.

Ten specific tips for finding the right spouse, and for having a happy marriage, from a couple who have been happily married for many years. A happy marriage is a wonderful foundation for a successful life. This page is aimed specifically at Muslim women in order to remain focused. In particular, I am conscious that when marriages break down, the woman often suffers far more than the man. However, most of the advice is also relevant to Muslim men, and indeed young people of any religious background or none. I married for the first time in and am still married to the same woman.

7 etiquettes of seeking a spouse

It is described in the Qur'an in Surah Permission from Wali : [8]. Nikah halala is a practice which was invented and has no religious background to it. It is also known as tahleel marriage [9] is a practice in which a woman, after being divorced by triple talaq , marries another man, consummates the marriage, and gets divorced again in order to be able to remarry her former husband. This practice is not from sharia law and is haram. This form of marriage was outlawed by Islam, which requires that any man and woman be married prior to sexual intercourse. The husband would refrain from sexual relations with his wife until she became pregnant by the other man.

Continuing your search in a region where Islam is more prevalent will present you with far more chances to court like-minded women and win the approval of their.

What are the guidelines provided by Islam in this regard? Do we look for some particular characteristics or just try to get the best from the worldly point of view? Had there been any element of truth and validity in this, the divorce and separation rates in societies which practice it would not have shown a steady rise. Similarly, the marriages which take place without such pre-marital contacts would not have been known to last happily. We should never resort to deceive the opposite party or conceal a defect during the selection process.

7 Steps to Finding a Muslim Wife

Jump to navigation. For many divorced, widowed or older women, could polygamy be a practical answer to their problems? Farzana is a senior nurse, 36, attractive, selfpossessed and articulate.

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