If your husband ever find out
Ever feel like your opinionated hubby's holding something back? Men aren't naturally gifted at expressing themselves like women, so they may keep quiet about sensitive subjects. But those secrets can cause marriage problems. Here's what your husband may be hiding and how best to handle it.
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My husband left me for another woman – but now wants me back
Ever feel like your opinionated hubby's holding something back? Men aren't naturally gifted at expressing themselves like women, so they may keep quiet about sensitive subjects.
But those secrets can cause marriage problems. Here's what your husband may be hiding and how best to handle it. Your husband may feel insecure if his masculine qualities, like physical strength, never impress you. Since he'll feel even less like a tough guy divulging this need for extra attention, he'll stay mum. So compliment his brawn—even if it's just for popping the lid off the jam jar.
Also, give him a chance to assemble that dresser before offering your expertise. Dow says if you take charge instead of letting him take care of it, he'll feel emasculated.
The male brain is hardwired to notice pretty young things, since they're likely to be fertile and capable of producing healthy children, says Dr, Dow.
In fact, your hubby's head may turn before his brain realizes! Call him out for ogling or flirting, but let him off the hook for the occasional quick glance. Distant sights may register easily for him—"his hunter brain needed to target animals far away to bring home dinner a few thousand years back," says Dr.
Dow—but he isn't attuned to finer, up-close details. To him, the blue dress looks just like the red one you tried on. If he stumbles through a response about your outfit when you ask what he thinks, don't read into it. When it comes to doing the deed, men are microwaves and women are slow cookers, says Dr. While he enjoys the romance of making love, sometimes he'd prefer to get to the big O faster.
It's tough for him to delicately explain this, so if he's normally eager to please you, return the favor every now and then with a mind-blowing quickie. Orlando, author of The Problem with Women Although you're perfectly capable of listening to him while you're relaxing, he can't multitask as well.
Plus, "communicating at work all day exhausts his brain more than yours. Try giving him some space when he comes home. Once he's had the chance to unwind, "conversation will come more easily for him," says Dr. It will be more enjoyable for you too. If he doesn't know what'll set you off, he may fib to avoid a potential confrontation. If he messes up and 'fesses up, take a deep breath and address it without getting angry.
And if you do fight, tell him after that you nevertheless appreciate his honesty. Yes, he loves you the way you are, but he also wants you to like how you look and feel. But he might not know how to suggest you get a new haircut, join a gym or take a day off from the kids. Instead, he "doesn't say anything until it builds up to the point of coming off mean," says Dr. Show him you value his opinion by asking him about your look or health habits.
In a world of gender equality, your husband probably gets mixed messages about what's expected of him. So he'll kill every spider and do all the yard work if he assumes you feel he's not pulling his weight in the relationship. Divide and conquer, lest he have ill will about handling the traditionally male chores solo. Pitch in raking leaves with him and deal with the occasional spider. But if killing the spider results in resenting you for not handling it, that's really scary.
Men equate financial stability with their provider skills: The more unstable things are, the more he feels like he's failed as a provider. Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. Getty Images. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. They just all look the same to me. This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses.
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