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How to find a man for your daughter

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My daughter is living in New York for three years. She works and is very happy works for very religious people , but she didn't get married yet. What should I do? It's good that your daughter is working for religious people and is happy. Has she approached her employers about keeping an eye out for her for a proper shidduch?

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How To Help Your Unmarried Child Find Love

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Editor's Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear.

My year-old daughter has never been married but has had relationships with men and women. My daughter is having a good time but knows that the relationship is going nowhere. I feel she is not thinking clearly and is not valuing herself. One of the hardest aspects of being a parent is recognizing that your children are their own people, and that no matter how differently you see things—or how much you want to protect them—they get to make life choices of their own.

Right now, your proposed strategy for communicating your concern and love for your daughter is through punitive action boycotting her boyfriend. Until you do as I wish, I will withhold something important to you. Instead, it shows a need to exert control, to erase her personhood from the equation.

What she tells you may be hard to hear. Perhaps in an ideal world, she would love to have children, but she may feel that that is not a likely path for her right now. If she eventually meets and falls in love with a younger woman, that may buy her time—and, of course, she can try to adopt children if she ends up with a same-age or older partner.

Maybe she demands that he say or do certain things when communicating with his wife, thus overstepping her role in the dissolution of their marriage. Maybe she insists on telling him what he should be getting in their divorce settlement or demonizes his wife whenever the topic of the divorce comes up. Let her know that you relate to how much better life seems when you go to sleep at night next to someone you love—and that she must really value having that in her life right now.

Ask her about the good things in the relationship and delight in her joy, because her joy is as real as your concern. If you make room between the two of you for a more balanced view of the relationship, both of you may be better able to tolerate the nuances of your relationships that feel so threatening to each of you right now for you, her happiness with her boyfriend; for her, your worries about him.

Sometimes when people are given the opportunity to talk openly in a safe and trusting context, they hear themselves more clearly, and they feel that an emotional burden they have been carrying alone has lifted. How are you feeling about that? Again: Just listen. I have no way of knowing from your letter whether this is a doomed relationship, but if it is, consider this: Most people who leave dead-end relationships do so not because somebody told them to—a parent, a close friend, a therapist—but because they were given the conditions in which to see their situation in all its complexity.

The most powerful truths—the ones people take the most seriously—are those they come to, little by little, on their own. With some helpful facilitation, your daughter will make the decision that feels right for her. Dear Therapist is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical advice, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Always seek the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. We want to hear what you think about this article. Submit a letter to the editor or write to letters theatlantic. Skip to content. Sign in My Account Subscribe. The Atlantic Crossword. The Print Edition. Latest Issue Past Issues.

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Dear Therapist: I Don’t Approve of My Daughter’s Boyfriend

As a wedding planner, Ann Westwood attends more than her fair share of nuptials. She confesses to shedding a tear or two as her brides walk down the aisle. At 32, Nicola, an actress, is far from finding Mr Right.

The current dating scene is a depressing place: too few suitable options and fewer still willing to commit. And far too many tears after yet another less-than-stellar first date. Such things should matter not one whit to me, a happily married year-old grandmother.

There are certain lessons only a mother can teach. A grandmother may not be as relatable, and a sister may not have enough wisdom — which is why it's up to Mom to initiate a heart-to-heart about matters of the heart. Although it can be a difficult subject to broach, your greatest gift to your daughter might just be the knowledge to face tough times and come out stronger. Here are the most important things young women need to know about love — and how to explain them. And that goes for not just significant others but also friends and family.

How Can I Help My Daughter Marry Well?

Kids , Motherhood , Teen. In: Kids. First, let me assure you we are not one of those families who wants to intimidate potential suitors. We believe they have the self-confidence to know their worth, and the wisdom to see through material advances such as fancy cars or lavish parties. I mean, really know you. That means you will have to share some meals at our dinner table and hold some conversations in our living room—and no honking from the driveway. We also want you to get to know us, so you understand how much our daughters mean to their father and I, and can appropriately appreciate the values of our family.

Mothers trying to find Mr Right for their daughters

Editor's Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear. My year-old daughter has never been married but has had relationships with men and women.

Updated: August 21, Reader-Approved References. So you're interested in getting married and all the wonderful things that can come with having a husband?

Please pray for my beautiful 30 year old daughter who has everything to offer a man, but cannot seem to find and build a relationship with anyone she dates. She is so frustrated. She wants nothing more out of life than to marry and be a mom. Please pray that she remains patient, especially that a gentleman she liked so much can see what a good partner she would have been and to give her a second chance.

Prayer for my daughter who seeks a relationship.

I am convinced that one of the most crucial questions I face is, whom should my daughter marry? Notice I did not say, will but should. Far too often we think about the marriages of our daughters like pagan mystics. We close our eyes real hard and just hope against hope that the stars will align and the right man will come along.

In their exclusive series for The Christian Post, both Marina and Gregory will answer thoughtful Christian parents seeking to raise their children up in the goodness of the Gospel and the Glory of God. If you would like to have Marina and Gregory answer your questions, please contact them via momsaysdadsays christianpost. She is now well into her thirties and I am not sure if her knight in shining white armor will ever appear. Why can't she settle down with any of the nice young men she has met? The time between her relationships seem to be growing ever longer.

11 Love Lessons Every Mother Should Teach Her Daughter

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Suggest your daughter get out and volunteer and be active in those things that she is passionate about and she will find someone maybe with the same.

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Before You Date My Daughter, Know This

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How do I find a match for my daughter?

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How Can I Help My Daughter Find Mr. Right?

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Comments: 5
  1. JoJor

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  2. Bakus

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  3. Kezil

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  4. Faur

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  5. Faeshakar

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