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My boyfriend meeting up with ex-girlfriend

Last month I was at a Planned Parenthood benefit lunch at the Pierre hotel, making small talk with a fashion designer seated next to me. The designer looked at me like I was Ann Coulter. Had I misread the cues? Circle of trust: I have a habit of becoming sort of obsessed with the people my partners dated before me.



How to Deal With Jealousy When Your Boyfriend Sees His Ex

Jorge's relationship advice is based on experience and observation. He's seen many people—including himself—get seduced and hurt by love. Are you a little bothered because you just realized that your boyfriend still talks to his ex every once in a while? Does it make you feel insecure? While it's natural to feel a little weird about it, the fact that he talks to his ex isn't automatically a bad thing.

Before you burst into tears and start planning how you're going to dump him, here are a few things that you should do when your boyfriend is talking to his ex. Don't hide the fact that you're bothered or insecure. This doesn't mean that you should blame your boyfriend for feelings of jealousy that you might have. This simply means that you should acknowledge them. Communicate your fears to your boyfriend. If he doesn't seem to care or acts really defensive about it, then maybe you should press him for more details.

Some people can genuinely be "just friends" with their exes. Maybe they started dating, realized their feelings were mostly platonic, and decided to remain friends. This is the ideal situation if your boyfriend is still talking to his ex: they are basically close friends who have no romantic feelings whatsoever. There's little to be jealous about if their relationship was short-lived and not very fiery. Even better, if your boyfriend's ex turned out to be gay or straight, if you're gay and that's why their relationship ended, then there's not as much of a chance that something inappropriate is happening between them.

Granted, it could still happen. On the other hand, there's more reason to be suspicious if there's no conceivable reason that they're still talking. For example, let's say that your boyfriend and his ex had a purely physical relationship and went through an explosive breakup. Furthermore, they were never very good friends in the first place.

Why would they still be talking? Did they break up like a million years ago, before you even met each other? In that case, maybe the fire between them has cooled off enough that they can legitimately be friends without any drama. If it's only been a few weeks and your boyfriend is already talking to his ex, this might be something that you'll want to calmly address with him. Even if you find information that you don't like while probing your boyfriend about the situation, take some time to be by yourself and think about what's going on.

Before you react, reflect on what your rational response should be. Remember that if your reaction is based on insecurity, you may do irreparable damage to your relationship.

You might unwittingly send the message to your boyfriend that you don't trust him. How will he react to that? Is he really doing anything wrong?

Think carefully about what you've learned and the best way to proceed. Obviously, if you've discovered that your boyfriend is sending naked pictures to his ex or something like that, there's less to think about. In unambiguous situations like those, you might just want to kick the guy to the curb. If his ex really is just a friend, your boyfriend should have no problem introducing you.

Sure, it's normal for him to feel a bit awkward bringing a current and past flame together, but it should be doable. However, if he is still seeing his ex in secret, he'll probably feel too guilty to introduce you or allow you to hang out together. He'll probably be nervous that you'll discover his two-timing ways. If you do meet his ex, pay attention to how she or he acts.

Does she seem nervous around you? Does she give you smug looks? Is she really touchy-feely with your boyfriend? If so, then you might have a problem. Even if there's nothing between them, she may be trying to rekindle something. After meeting his ex, if you can tell that she definitely still carries a torch for him, advise your boyfriend of this. If you're uncomfortable with the idea of his talking to someone who clearly still wants him, don't be afraid to let him know.

At the end of the day, you can't prohibit anyone from doing something. There really are two possible situations here:. Either way, he is the one who ultimately has control over this. The only thing y ou can control is whether you tolerate it or not.

If you try to forbid him from talking to his ex, whether it is justified or you are just acting out of insecurity, you are fighting a losing battle. What's the point of a relationship if you can't trust your partner to make the right decision on their own, after all?

Did your boyfriend actively keep the fact that he was contacting his ex a secret from you? Did he lie when you asked him about it, but then you found out later that they were still talking? Dump him. He was looking to cheat. There's no reason for someone to keep that kind of thing a secret unless they're planning to do something they're not "supposed" to do.

Sure, maybe he was just afraid that you would be mad or something, but that still begs the question of why he would rather avoid your anger than be honest with you. This points to some messed up priorities. Trust is a foundational aspect of any successful relationship, and if you can't trust your own boyfriend, then maybe you're better off sending him back to his ex.

If your boyfriend keeps getting texts from his ex, take note of his reaction. Is he annoyed? Does he complain about his ex trying to stay in touch with him? Or does he excuse himself and go somewhere else to respond? The only way to know whether the communication between your boyfriend and his ex is the beginning of them getting back together is to watch and listen. Ask him why his ex is getting in touch.

Then see what he says. Just because his ex is texting doesn't mean your boyfriend is still interested in them. What, is your boyfriend five years old? Are you his mother? Is it your job to "forbid" him from doing this or that? If he continues to do something, knowing full well that you don't like it, then you can either live with it or break up with him.

You cannot control another person. Then hell yes, he should be mad. You don't have the right to block other people on someone else's phone, no matter who it is.

You either trust your boyfriend, or you don't, but your boyfriend is I assume a grown man, not your child. He is not your property, and you are not the judge of who he should associate with. That's up to him. If you don't like that he talks to his ex, and he refuses to stop by his own choice, then you can break up with him. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. If they are just catching up, they could be friends.

If she's trying to "catch" something else, then you might have a problem. I caught my bf's ex texting him for sex. He said nothing happened, and left it there. Do you think that because he didn't justify himself enough, it means that they are still sleeping together? If he was telling the truth, why would he need to justify? Usually, it's liars who over-explain stuff. Having said that, they could still be sleeping together, sure.

There's no way to know. You either trust his word or you don't. I don't know your life, so I have no idea. Maybe she is still friends with him and just wants to talk to him. Maybe she's trying to seduce him.

It could be any reason, really. Depends, is that the kind of relationship that you want? One where you're waiting to be traded in for someone your boyfriend likes more? If that's the case, then be my guest. To comment on this article, you must sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. I'm dating a gentleman that was married to his ex wife 11 years.

They divorced 3 years ago.

Why Would An Ex Boyfriend Want To Meet Up?

Jorge's relationship advice is based on experience and observation. He's seen many people—including himself—get seduced and hurt by love. Are you a little bothered because you just realized that your boyfriend still talks to his ex every once in a while?

By Chris Seiter. He took your heart, threw it to the ground, stomped on it, and then took a sledgehammer to crush the remaining pieces to dust.

Personally, when someone tells me they're still friendly with their ex, I can't help but be a little skeptical. I know not all breakups are dramatic, Bachelor -worthy blowups complete with screaming and crying, but they still signify the end of a relationship. Therefore, it's difficult for me to understand how you can be just friends with someone whom you were once romantically involved with. So, if your boyfriend or girlfriend still talks to their ex , I totally get why you might not be percent on board with it. However, it is possible that your partner doesn't have any ulterior motives.

How I Became Friends With My Boyfriend’s Ex-Girlfriend

When the time came to talking about our past relationships, it was more difficult for him than it was for me, and after hearing him tell the story, I understood why. He basically played mistress while her actual boyfriend moved away to Florida, at which point their love tale began. In the end, he did as anybody should and got out of that toxic and hopeless situation. At the beginning we talked about her a lot, like high school girls gossiping in the bathroom. For a while it overcame our relationship, providing its own form of toxic. I just disliked her so much for what she did to him, even though he was already looking past the situation. As their friendship slowly reformed, and her college being no more than an hour from our own, I told my boyfriend that I wanted to meet her, that I had to.

5 Important Things to Do When Your Boyfriend Contacts His Ex

Things had been great between us. Two things happened when I got here, however, which have me thinking. First, when I arrived I was very ill with a horrible cold. My boyfriend was also sick with food poisoning but he avoided me physically. I was hurt but understood.

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Nothing kills the joy of a relationship like that nagging feeling that your boo still isn't totally over his or her ex. Whether you found him scrolling through her IG feed, or doing something even more side-eye worthy, these behaviors might even leave you wondering But honestly, any behavior that's giving you a gross feeling in the pit of your stomach is enough to consider re-evaluating your relationship status.

My Boyfriend Still Hangs With His Ex. What Should I Do?

Your boyfriend is meeting his ex, and it stings. What if they fall in love again, or sleep together, or rediscover their old feelings for each other? I remember those days months, maybe even a couple of years! He lived with her for six years.

Our relationship and sex experts try to help Daisy from London, who is having issues with her boyfriend after he met up with his ex-girlfriend. She lives in another country and was only in Britain for a week. This is completely fabricated. Then I checked his texts and found that he did see his ex. What do I do about this situation? No way.

22 Reasons Not to Worry About His Ex-Girlfriend

He doesn't compare you to her. Do you frequently compare your current and ex-boyfriend? No, right? Stacking people up against each other like that is reductive and a waste of time. They chose to end it. It's not like they were Romeo and Juliet — nothing was keeping them apart. They just didn't want to be together anymore.

Jun 17, - Did you recently find out that your boyfriend is still talking to his ex? Did they break up like a million years ago, before you even met each.

So your boyfriend still hangs with his ex. Should you just stay cool, work on your fears and insecurities and keep these thoughts to yourself? Or should you be more open with him and start a conversation about it? So let me give you a male perspective.

Are You Obsessed With Your Partner’s Ex?

Does your boyfriend still talk to his ex behind your back? Maybe this is creating arguments that are harming your relationship? In the meantime, the guide below will help you develop a deeper understanding about why men stay in touch with their exes. Lots of people do it.

Dealing with an ex isn't always fun. But when you're dealing with your boyfriend's ex, it's never ever a good time. A sweet Smitten reader recently emailed us about her man's ex files…. My boyfriend of nine months just asked me if he can meet his ex for a drink later this week.





Comments: 2
  1. Akikasa

    Your opinion is useful

  2. Jurisar

    I think, what is it — a lie.

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