How to get my girlfriend to quit smoking
Love Stories is a series about love in all its forms, with one new essay appearing each day for the first two weeks of February, until Valentine's Day. It started out like lots of bad romances, by which I mean that from the very beginning, I knew every single reason why not, and I went ahead and did it anyway. Not that I would admit any of those things. New York was broken up into its own little sects and small republics, its dictatorships and dividing lines, and smoking was one of the few that I chose rather than have chosen for me—it was the box that I ticked myself.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How can I get my girlfriend to stop smoking?
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9 Ways to Ask Your Boyfriend to Quit Smoking
Rather than fighting with your partner over his smoking, try to stand with him and fight against the smoking addiction. Photograph: Getty Images. Q I have been with my partner for eight years and we have a month-old daughter together.
The issue that really bothers me is that he started smoking again seven months ago even though he knows I hate it. My own father died early of lung cancer after a lifetime of smoking. When I met him first, he used to smoke though he gave it up once we started going out seriously together and I was impressed by this at the time.
Now I feel really disappointed that he has started again and think he is being really selfish. Am I being reasonable and is there anything I can do or should I just accept it? Your concerns are especially understandable given the personal loss of your father to a smoking-related illness. Smoking and stress on relationships When a partner or spouse starts back smoking, it can put a great deal of stress on the relationship especially when the other partner is against it.
You might have thought that his smoking was behind you and are disappointed that he has started again, especially now that you have a baby together. Often the thing that bothers the partner the most is the secrecy about it. Often the person initially hides the fact that they have started back or under-reports the amount they are smoking and this can feel like a breach of trust in the relationship.
Equally, you may have felt that his decision to give up in the past was a sign of commitment to you and your relationship, and you may perceive that his decision to start again somehow undermines this.
Understanding the addiction of smoking It helps if you do not take his smoking personally and see the addiction that usually underpins it. Most smokers are addicted to smoking with over 50 per cent at any one time wishing they could quit and over 80 per cent regretting they ever started in the first place. In addition, just like other addictions, smoking is often used as a means however unhelpful of coping with stress.
It is quite likely that your partner was feeling the stresses of being a new parent or perhaps work and this might have triggered his return to his old addiction.
It is also quite likely that he hid it from you initially because he was embarrassed and because he hoped that he could nip his new habit in the bud. Most smokers who start back do this gradually with one or two cigarettes hoping they can limit their habit, before their behaviour escalates and the addiction takes over.
Helping your partner quit There is a lot you can do to help your partner quit. Firstly, try to be supportive and not judgmental of his actions. Rather than seeing his actions solely as selfish, try to understand the addictive nature of cigarettes and the stresses and other triggers that got him back to smoking. Your reaching out and being understanding can help motivate him to try again to quit. Making a decision to quit It is important that your partner makes his own decision to quit smoking.
While you can and should express your views and concerns, he has to weigh these up and make his own decision. From the details of your email, it does sound like he wants to quit but may feel unable to do this. Make sure to encourage his desire to quit and support him in this decision. Getting ready to quit Once your partner has agreed that he wants to quit, support him in getting ready to do this. Discuss with him in detail how he overcame the addiction the last time. What strategies did he employ?
What specifically worked for him? Some people find getting professional support either individually or in a group can be very helpful see resources below. Encourage him to reach out and make contact. Supporting him quitting Once he does quit, your support and encouragement can make a difference in keeping him going and helping him stay off the cigarettes. Highlight progress with him on a daily basis and encourage him in his alternative choices.
Remind him of all the money he is saving and plan rewards that you can enjoy together. For a list of books and courses, see solutiontalk. Fertility treatment is a peculiar experience at any time. In a pandemic it becomes surreal. We asked parents how they thought their kids were coping. Tell Me About It: Tackle what is important to you now, before a busy life hides it again. When my husband was diagnosed with leukaemia in , normal life came to a halt.
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Helping a Smoker Quit: Do’s and Don’ts
This week, one reader says she's upset that her boyfriend won't marry her until she stops smoking, while another says she can't get over her ex messing around when they were on a break. Relationship expert Dr. We get along great and like to do the same things. Before we got together, he came from a bad relationship with a child, and I came from a divorce. We have talked about marriage he brought it up and getting engaged.
If you feel like you've tried everything to get a loved one to quit smoking , or if you've just started thinking of ways to ask someone to quit, knowing what doesn't work can save you a lot of time and frustration. Smoking causes damage to almost every single organ in the human body, so it can't be good -- ever. And as much as you may hate it, you have to remember that those who smoke might actually love it [source: American Lung Association ]. Nicotine and all of the habits that come along with smoking -- holding, inhaling and reaching for cigarettes throughout the day -- are physically and emotionally addictive to smokers. Whether or not you prevent someone you know from being one of the , or so people who will die from a smoking-related illness in the United States this year should be less about hating smoking and more about loving the smoker [source: American Lung Association ].
Ask the Expert: My partner’s smoking again and I hate it
Rather than fighting with your partner over his smoking, try to stand with him and fight against the smoking addiction. Photograph: Getty Images. Q I have been with my partner for eight years and we have a month-old daughter together. The issue that really bothers me is that he started smoking again seven months ago even though he knows I hate it. My own father died early of lung cancer after a lifetime of smoking. When I met him first, he used to smoke though he gave it up once we started going out seriously together and I was impressed by this at the time. Now I feel really disappointed that he has started again and think he is being really selfish. Am I being reasonable and is there anything I can do or should I just accept it? Your concerns are especially understandable given the personal loss of your father to a smoking-related illness. Smoking and stress on relationships When a partner or spouse starts back smoking, it can put a great deal of stress on the relationship especially when the other partner is against it.
How to convince your partner to stop smoking
A bad habit of a loved one is always a frustrating thing. If you have this problem with your girlfriend, you probably have tried some methods to get her to quit this unwanted habit. Given that you are reading this article, there is a fair chance that your efforts have failed and you need some help in getting this done. Am I Right? Here we go!
FAQ on Coronavirus and Mefi : check before posting, cite sources; how to block content by tags. Should I break up with my smoker girlfriend? When we first got together, I knew that she smoked, but she said she planned on quitting smoking altogether and I believed her. Not only do I find smoking offensive but I also have pretty severe asthma, which means that I cannot be anywhere near smoke.
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If your partner is trying to quit smoking, there are many ways you can help. However, a much smaller percentage of smokers are successful. Despite the difficulties in quitting, 40 percent of those who are successful attribute their successes to having support. Consider the ways you can help your partner quit.
When we first got together I was totally upfront about it. She obviously thought I was out of sight. She just kept saying she feels like a child being told off by her boyfriend all day for being naughty. What can I do? And although she had the odd crafty fag in the loo, she stopped in the end.
Help Your Partner Quit Smoking
It seems hopeless. Kwit gives you some advices to quit tobacco together with your partner and for good. When two people in a couple smoke and one of them would like to abandon cigarettes, but not without the partner, it is not easy. There are indeed situations where addiction to tobacco takes too much space in the conjugal life, becoming unbearable. So if both are determined to quit, the challenge will be a little easier to overcome. However, if one of them is not ready for this cessation, it becomes more difficult.