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How to get over guy who cheated on you

Let me just put it out there. Being cheated on is one of the most painful experiences that anyone can go through. When someone hits or batters you, those wounds heal. But when someone cheats on you, that leaves battle scars the size of craters. All too often when someone cheats on us, we do the wrong thing.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How Do I Get Over Someone Who Cheated on Me? - EFT Love Talk Q&A Show

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 6 Truths You Need to Know After You've Been Cheated On

How to Get Over a Cheating Boyfriend in 5 Steps

It is hard to get over a cheater because when you leave the relationship, there are two people you must mourn. One is the asshole who cheated on you, in all their flawed, unfaithful glory. The other person you must get over is the person you thought they were. The relationship you thought you had. The trust you so carefully built, not knowing that the foundation was made up of quicksand.

The one you built a life with. The one you poured your trust into. You hate the person they turned into, but love the person they were. Love the way things were. Love the memory of each blissfully ignorant day with them, so fiercely that it tears you to pieces. It is hard to get over a cheater because you never get the closure you need.

You cannot reason your way to the cause of the cheating — and I strongly encourage you not to try. You know logically this is not true, but it feels true. The harder you search for a reason, the more the truth evades you. So you search for a bigger, better reason that is not there.

You hate yourself for falling for them. For investing in them. For turning a blind eye to every red flag that was a clue along the way. You scorn yourself for believing every lie they told, and letting it all come to fruition. You hate yourself for not putting together the puzzle pieces that you were never actually holding.

It is hard to get over a cheater because we are seldom given the chance to properly mourn them. Cannot miss them. Cannot mourn the loss of that love because we should be too angry to feel sadness. We are not given the chance to go through the regular process of grieving somebody who was once a major part of our lives. And because we try to deny ourselves this process, we exemplify the pain. We feel ashamed for still loving them.

Ashamed for still needing to grieve. Ashamed of not being ready to start over right away, even though we know we deserve so much better. Ashamed because it must make us weak to feel anything other than hatred. It is hard to get over a cheater because the real person we have to forgive at the end of the day is ourselves. For losing a game we never signed up to play. For having a perfectly natural connection with a person who turned out to not be who they said they were. That we can be fooled and treated unfairly and still end up the loser in the end.

We want to believe in the eternal balance of the Universe, which suggests that when we are in pain we have done something wrong.

It is hard to get over a cheater because it means accepting the bizarre notion that life can be unfair in the harshest sense of the word. It is hard to get over a cheater because a betrayal of trust turns your world upside down. And the only way to flip it right-side up again is to give ourselves permission to work through it.

To accept what happened. To mourn someone we hate. To grieve a relationship we walked away from. To work through every paradoxical situation we encounter, until we come through on the other side.

The side with a clean slate. And the side where we are proud of ourselves for never accepting any less. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement.

Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page. At the end of the day, you have two choices in love — one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away. By Heidi Priebe Updated October 16, Stefano Zocca. Get the best of Thought Catalog in your inbox. More From Thought Catalog. Get our newsletter every Friday! You're in! Follow Thought Catalog.

This is how you get over a cheating ex

My clients appreciate that I help them in a way that cuts through the jargon and gives clear explanations. Search Questions or Ask New:. Top Rated Answers Anonymous October 3rd, pm. First of all, keep in mind that your partner's cheating had nothing to do with you. Don't look for any faults in yourself to justify the cheating.

You thought you knew him. Your boyfriend was loving, kind, and affectionate, and you found out that he wasn't the man you believed him to be.

When Elle Grant's husband started spending a lot of time at work with his female associate, she wasn't immediately suspicious. But something kept nagging at my brain. Grant finally confronted her husband about her gut feeling that something was off. Slowly, the truth began to come out. I was shocked and devastated.

He Cheated on You? How to Get Over a Guy Without Seeking Revenge

Have you been cheated on? How did you react? Was it an emotional rollercoaster rotating between rage, disbelief, and grief? I deserve better. And I need to make them jealous. It is always painful when relationships come apart. It leaves a person feeling completely disrespected. The ability to trust can be lost. It is rejection on a whole different level. How do you get past the pain and get on to the next part of your life?

How To Get Over Someone Who Cheated On You & Broke Your Heart Into A Million Pieces

Is there any pain like that of being deceived by someone you trusted with your vagina and your heart? I don't think so. While yes, of course, feeling sad and moping is alright for a bit , you don't wanna spend the next few years feeling les mis and pining for the person who treated your heart like it was monkey meat. Hilda Burke, a psychotherapist and couples counsellor shares her advice on how to get over a cheating ex once and for good. We all have different ways of coping after a break up.

There are a few typical giveaways someone is cheating on you , including hiding their phone, going on unexpected trips, and even the tone of their voice.

It takes times to know how to get over someone cheating on you and repairing the emotional damage. I went to teach English at a summer camp for two weeks, and he met some girl at a music festival and slept with her. He called me while I was working and told me what happened. Of course, we broke up and though I tried to play it off as no big deal, it really affected me.

My Boyfriend Cheated On Me And I Can’t Get Over It

It is hard to get over a cheater because when you leave the relationship, there are two people you must mourn. One is the asshole who cheated on you, in all their flawed, unfaithful glory. The other person you must get over is the person you thought they were.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: The Best Revenge Is Letting Go & Moving On With Your Life (Inspirational Speech)

I loved him and I thought he felt the same, but even though he said the words, they meant nothing. In reality, I just wanted to get on with my life and forget all about him. I really thought that the breakup was going to be so brutal on me. I mean, my three-year relationship was coming to an end! But honestly, not every breakup has to be soul-crushing, and especially not when the guy who broke my heart was a cheating a-hole.

How to Get Over Someone Who Cheated

If you were cheated on by your partner, you may be experiencing a whirlwind of different emotions as you process what happened. In order to deal with what happened and come to terms with it, this is the time to experience these feelings so that the healing process can begin. Are you questioning everything you had in your relationship with your partner? Are you replaying conversations in your mind to see if you can spot where things went wrong? After an affair, many people fixate on the moments they had with their partner and the experiences they shared with him or her to try and figure out what happened and how their relationship ended up going in this direction. Do you want to break up with your partner? Or do you want to work on your relationship and try to recapture what you had before? On the flip side, you may be hurt and betrayed by your partner, but you still love him or her and want this person in your life.

If we first assume that you are no longer with that guy, the best way to get over the fact that he cheated on you is to completely cut him out of your life first, then  48 answers.

Being cheated on can make you feel a range of emotions, such as rejection, sadness, humiliation, and even anger. You may even question yourself and wonder what you did wrong. Take appropriate actions afterwards to heal yourself emotionally, such as going on a social media sabbatical and getting support from friends.

How to Get Over Being Cheated On

Having a cheating partner is one of the most painful experiences a person can have. It hurts you so deeply, and no medication, not even the strongest painkillers, can take away this kind of pain. Your partner is asking for forgiveness. They've shown genuine remorse for their infidelity.

Getting cheated on feels awful. Sometimes, it can sting so badly that it negatively affects future relationships. The tidal wave of thoughts and emotions that wash over you are likely to be intense: fury, shame, guilt, regret, abandonment and hopelessness. Having your trust broken like this is one of the most gut-wrenching, heart-breaking and devastating events that a person can go through.

Who was it? Why did they do it?

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Comments: 1
  1. Shataur

    Very amusing information

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